The following serve as chapter headings in Robert Heinlein's The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1985

Ah love! could thou and I with fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
Would not we shatter it to bits -- and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!
-- Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám (Edw. Fitzgerald translation)

Whatever you do, you'll regret it.
-- Allan McLeod Gray, 1905-1975

In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
-- Mao Tse Tung, 1893-1976

One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
-- Heinrich Heine, 1797-1856

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
-- H.L. Mencken, 1880-1956

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
-- H.H. Munro, 1870-1916

You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.
-- Claude William Dukenfield, 1880-1946

The biscuits and the syrup never come out even.
-- Lazarus Long, 1912-

The majority is never right.
-- Lazarus Long, 1912-

It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion.
-- William Ralph Inge, D.D., 1860-1954

Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint ... but not yet, O Lord, not yet!
-- St. Augustine, 354-430

Violence never settles anything.
-- Genghis Khan, 1162-1227

The truth is the one thing that nobody will believe.
-- George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950

Democracy can stand anything but democrats.
-- Jubal Harshaw, 1904-

Success lies in achieving the top of the food chain.
-- Jubal Harshaw, 1904-

The universe contains neither of logic nor justice save where we impose such qualities on a world of chaos and cruelty.
-- Jubal Harshaw, 1904-

All kings is mostly rapscallions.
-- Samuel Clemens, 1835-1910

PMS: Just before their periods, women behave the way men do all the time.
-- Lowell Stone, M.D., 2144-

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
-- Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900

Rascality has its limits. Stupidity has not.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte, 1769-1821

God created woman to tame man.
-- Voltaire, 1694-1778

Do not put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
-- Josh Billings, 1818-1885

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.
-- Charles Lutwidge Dodgeson, 1832-1898

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion.
-- Henry Wheeler Shaw, 1818-1885

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, 1879-1958

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-- Robert Anson Heinlein, 1907-1988